hellocouture

September 29, 2009                                                                                         Tuesday

'An old Life dies and a new one begins..." by farah

Sorry if i haven't updated. i was/i am fighting for my life! during the past weekend my cold taken a dive for the worse and it was so bad my family called the ambulance...i didn't argue 'cause i was filled w/utter pain the worse i have ever felt in my Lifeeeeeeeeeee.

Immediatley they connected me to machines, IV, medication, feed me through my vains, made my body into a pin cushion for the better. @ this point i no longer knew who i was? just grateful...blurred vision i looked up and noticed my room, private with a large glass door surrounded by nurses and doctors wearing masks! the professionals peering through the glass door but giving me my privacy, peering through me with warm concerned glass glazed eyes.

what followed;  tests, pain, misery, and more tests.

[ your Lucky 2be able to reflect, it's time for refelction" ]

..When the Doctor came into my dark quarantined room lit by a shiny hospital hallway corridar lights nosely peeking through glaring bright as my cranium has become sensitive to light. My doctor stood before me knowingly stern, serious, professioal and honest, "you have the swine flu...

["they say you see your Life flash right before your eyes"]

Growing up i have never belonged to a group: punk rock, emo, preppie, metal etc. and i still don't. Yes, i never went to the prom. i have lived my life IN insolation & @ times i have lived Life to the fullest !! there have been moments in my  Life that "Life seems Stranger than Fiction."

["when will people stop labeling themselves &  just BE, a symbol of Love, compassion"   by farah]

The movie "Never been Kissed" was my high school life except i wasn't a nerd and no one teased me, i guess as my siblings &  their popular friends have described me is a Loner & strange, perhaps an artist! aha ha. A huge part of my life was taken from me because i had a mysterous/secret relationship w/a high profile person when i was a teenager.

(p.s.  i will never kiss & tell, so don't ask.) 

i have just begain to start living again & having a BLAST!! 

{"self redemption is everything!"  by farah}

Lying in this bed as i have also voiced to my Doctor now i understand what it means to fight for your Life and not have the strength to fight.. As i am very weak, in the worst pain; muscle spasms that shake me almost out of the bed, to weak 2 speak, And moRe. They are giving me meds  through my IV to combat pain nuasea, & soothe me...I'm flying @ the momment. As i have asked the professionals over my care please donot medicate me too much for i want to feel alittle pain so i know I AM ALIVE !!!!

I am connected to so many machines and they are constantly watching me. i am no longer in ICU...the outLOO OK is good!!!! but they want to make-sure i don't slide...only getting stronger.

Okay,the nurses have told me this is enough 4the day. I just want to say a few more things...

tips 2be nice 2others & stop fooling yourselves: 'cause kindness goes a long way..                                                                                                                                                                                                                Life is about having a positive impact.                                                                                                                               

make someone else feel Supa good or put a smile on their face/self redemption is everything,very rewarding to oneself.

everyone craves acceptance...

remember 2 Love thy neighbor regardless of who they may or maynot be is the greatest gift you can give & recieve" by farah]  

Truley my life hasn't flashed B4 my eyes, i just look around my empty private room and think of everything that i have missed in my Life; being to critical of my work!

missing my spritual brothers BFF's:  M.A. & S.G.  i think about all the FUN times, travel, laughs your famous black beans u cook me o.O the birds/parrots aha ha truely LOVE & miss both of you!! you taught me how 2dance & choose perfume. and much more !! i will always Love u guys, & ms. cane; milagro. i will always have those precious memeories =)  Bisous

My vital SIGNS will be strong i have soo MUCH to do B4 i leave this LIFE !

i truely will live my LIFE different once i leave this hospital & recover.

1)  i have always been spiritual but i want to give more...create something where i will donate something for a good cause year a'round.

2)  Take my Art/Design to the next level & actually do more of the shows...Vegas, New York, London, Los Angeles fashion week, Tokyo etc. BEING i never wanted to do the shows. And Have my photo taken.

REASON; Here's something you never knew .. I'M PAINFULLY SHY.......   :P

you will see me LIVING...'HEY WORLD HERE I COME !!!!!!!!!!

stay tuned, Dirty Blonde Lolita, Nikita, Fariba, Farah my alters & me 'R emerging to create the ultimate good bad girl....Let's have FUN dress well & save the world together step by step.

[helping people that need healthcare & more seed money for research and cures is truely close to  my heart @ this momment]

Can fashion save the world? no & yes, this is my trade/my work & some of the proceeds can help alot of people especailly families, children that need healthcare and other key issues. Every dollar counts just by helping "a" person(s) boys & girls can  make a difference in the world! Life; cause and effect, think of the stacked dominos ; take one out they all fall down... sadly though not everyone has health ins. their are so many diseases that need research to find cures ... i've got to do something, something to help! no matter how small or large again every bit helps. that will be in the near future peeps.

Something with meaning/motivation while i lay here in bed...all alone.

Be well, Live Life, And LOVE one another ALwaYs,

farah XoXo 

UPDATE:   October 1,  2009                                                               tHURSDAY

the machines are still on...

they still are feeding me through IV and i'm, everything is being monitored by the machine t.v. box you see here. my vitals are still like a roller coaster, my family dislikes this photo they say i look dead! lolz.  alas, i have a tan w/out make-up no blonde dyed hair ..how should i look?!  teehee

And even though i'm in my own glass door room they want me to wear this mask when people visit me in my room +PLUS they must also wear a mask...

hopefully i will be released soon, i want to go HOME    =)